I'll start by saying that i am 18 now and for the last 10 years my views on religion have slowly gone downhill and have evolved dramatically over the years. I would also like to point out that i am not anti-religion or anything of the sort. In fact i am pro religion, it can be a beautiful thing. That being said i do not believe in the one God, this will be explained further on. Having seen all this you must be quite confused as to what religious group i fall into, i am too, so if you do know, please let me know.
I was born into a good christian family (All hypocrites if you ask me) but i was never really hooked on religion or filled with the 'holy spirit' or any spirit for that matter until i was about fourteen or fifteen but those spirits fall under a totally different category. With such a background i should have ideally grown up to be a good christian with solid morals and beliefs. But i didn't.
Everything was fine until i was about eight years old. I can clearly remember it was a sunday in the summer and i was sitting in a tree eating the forbidden fruit (was this really the apple? This i think is one of the many misunderstandings in the bible. Were there ever apples growing in the region where the bible was written? I think not. In my opinion the forbidden fruit was the pomegranate.) This tree happened to be behind the church and the adult church had just finished. The priest walked out of the church with the bowl containing the Holy water from that mornings anointments, he proceeded to empty the contents of the bowl over his flower patch raining down life giving goodness on them. A shiver run down my spine and my eight year old brain started whirring, immediately the solid foundations that had been drilled into me dissolved, i turned to my cousin for answers but she just smiled and continued to attack her apple with her boyish ferocity.
I needed answers, i had to get them. I clambered down the tree and jogged up to the priest. I asked him why he had poured out the Holy water out. He laid a pale hand on my shoulder ( Back off mister, you're not finding peace in my rectum... errr rectory...) And said:
"Son, this water was only boiled and blessed for and thus symbolizes..." my hearing cut off at this point. WRONG ANSWER buddy, this moment called for a 'white lie', to this day i wonder what would have happened if he had bent the truth a little. This day marked the beginning of a long list of questions beginning with 'Why...' which seemed to be very awkward and difficult to answer in any way other than "it was God's will!" This standardized answer led to me seeking my answers on my own.
"Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too?" - Douglas Adams.
This is a quote which reminds me of one of the first questions i asked myself. Why do people believe in God? One answer that i thought up was because it is human nature to want to have an answer for everything. When walking down the street when you ask for directions, very rarely, regardless of wether a person knows or not will they say "I don't know sorry." (Unless you are in a place where they are just rude) In most cases people who don't know are likely to point you in the wrong direction rather than saying they can't help you regardless of the ramifications on you're part. The point is that putting this into consideration, when we, and our ancestors can not explain anything we love to point the finger at a higher being and have an answer to why something happened. I guess it is human nature. We have the burning need to know everything. In both Islam and Christianity we see this a lot. The Christian faith like to say "It was/is God's will." "Maktob" is in my opinion, the Islamic equivalent to "It was God's will." This word or phrase means "It was written" meaning the past present and future was written by ALLAH. Perhaps i am interpreting this wrong but i like to at least pretend that i have control over my life and what will happen in it. I do not like to think i am some puppet or tool of a higher being put here for His amusement. (Is God or Allah a man? A woman? We were made in His image.) Wether this is true or not, i am living how i want (within reason) and doing what i want! This brings me to my next question/ point, "What is heaven and where is it?"
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2 comments:
i remember that story! LoL
dnt think it was an apple too, nor a pomegranate, i think it was a tomatoe...but they dnt grow on trees huh? LOL...an extinct fruit perhaps?
its good that u got an internal locus of control, but there are somethings that are outside our control...just gotta accept that.
I got alot of "Why" questions too, but its all too much 2 just b a coincidence, no?
@ Eizzy. Perhaps your right about the extinct fruit? Also we have to remember that the Bible was originally written in Hebrew originally and perhaps there have been maybe many mistranslations. Could have been a mango for all we know... Would you consider learning Hebrew and perhaps aiming at a more accurate translation?
Perhaps i should accept that but it is nice to imagine. Accepting things in my views is in its own way giving up on life and living within the borders set by others.
It is human nature to ask 'why' but the problem is getting the answers isnt it?
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